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Hem me in; hold me fast.

“. . . even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will  hold me fast.”

Psalm 139: 10

Privacy – It’s a “big deal” today and it always has been in this country –  America.

Give me my privacy.

I have a constitutional right to privacy.

It’s a private matter.

None of your business.

privacyisawesome.com puts it this way: “Privacy means you can be yourself.  You can express ideas without fear of being discriminated against or unjustly punished. It’s your life without pausing to think who’s watching: party hard, open up to a friend, organize a revolution, hang out with whoever you want–privacy keeps you safe.  It’s a core principle in any free society.”

I think we all like our privacy.

But nothing is hidden from my God. He knows it all. I read about it in Psalm 139. How He knit me in my mother’s womb–how He has searched me and knows me–how He knows when I sit and when I rise. He knows my thoughts. He even knows what I’m going to say before I say it! And I must say, I agree with the Psalmist that “Such knowledge is too wonderful me, too lofty for me to attain.”  It’s difficult to understand how and why a God would care so much.

No matter where I go, He is there. Up to the heavens–down into the depths–to the far side of the sea. The darkness doesn’t hide me from Him.

Do I feel threatened? Do I feel invaded?

Not by my God.

Because in His ever presence, He does something amazing. He hems me in. He is behind me and He is before me. And while He’s ever present, He lays His hand upon me. His hand guides me and holds me. I feel so safe in His ever presence.

~ ~ Hem me in, O Lord; hold me fast. ~~

Psalm 139: 5 “You hem me in –behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.”

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You Don’t Need to Wait Until Sunday

I observed in awe as my mother delicately washed each tiny glass cup and placed it to dry on the clean towel beside the kitchen sink.  In my little eyes, the washing of the communion glasses seemed as sacred as the partaking. I could hardly wait until I was old enough to partake – “old enough to understand,” my mother and daddy said. So in reverence, I watched the washing of the tiny glass cups and the silver servers in which they were later placed. I observed her carefully pour the grape juice into each cup, break the unsalted crackers to a smaller silver plate, and place spotless white starched linen cloths over each. It was the first Sunday of the month: Communion Sunday at our small country church.

“This do in remembrance of me” the Pastor said, quoting from the King James Version.

In my early years, I learned more about this sacrament, in which I partook, and later, I became more discerning of His body, realizing more about honoring and recognizing His body, as well as His blood.

“For whenever you eat this break and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes,” He said.

Proclaiming means “openly declaring.”

I partake not to be forgiven but to “declare” that I am forgiven!

I partake, not to be healed but to “declare” that I am healed!

There is power in declaration! I am proclaiming to the powers of darkness that the Lord’s death has shaken loose everything they are trying to put on me. Jesus died for me (the past); I am proclaiming His death (the present) “until he comes” (the future). We learn in 1 Samuel 7:9 that the burnt offering of the lamb was like a sweet aroma to God. I suspect that communion, too, is a sweet aroma to God, as we remember the burnt offering of the Lamb of God, the Lord Jesus.

My husband Ron and I often take communion at home, sometimes sitting in the midst of God’s peaceful natural creation of trees and birds and breeze on our back porch or sometimes facing the powerful surroundings of God’s creation at the beach. I select special small vintage glasses for our tiny portions of wine, and I place matza unleavened flatbread on a small plate or platter, one that is memorable or has special significance to us. The matza bread, like the crackers used in the church of my childhood, are pierced and striped as Jesus’ body was. The burn marks on the bread (or crackers) represent the full fire of God’s wrath which fell upon Jesus and are a reminder of the burnt offering – the Lamb, the Lord Jesus. Of course, the wine, which He tells us to drink in remembrance of Him, is the new covenant in His blood. This reminds us that without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness. Ron and I always read from Isaiah 53, from the Psalms, from Luke 22, or from 1 Corinthians 11. We praise the Father and we thank Him. We partake.

The Holy Communion (the Lord’s Supper)

is not about you or me;

it is about Jesus.

Although it is blessed to partake in Communion with the body of believers, you can partake outside the church, as well – with your spouse, with your friend, or by yourself. It is your time of remembrance – of Him. 

May God bless you as you partake in Holy Communion. You don’t need to wait until Sunday!

Further Reading: 1 Cor. 11:23-29; Samuel 7:9; Isaiah 53:4-6; Hebrews 9:22

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An Effort Toward Solitude

During this season of Lent, some of us are trying to get more time alone with God – or to make more time with God. As I’ve shared before, I don’t find it easy to do so. My excuse is probably a lifetime of multitasking. Reading and watching TV at the same time. Using my bluetooth to talk on the phone while doing dishes or completing household tasks. Writing while watching the children play. Always something – rather two or three somethings going on. Not sure how or why it came about – how I got this way. I observe others quietly reading for hours at  time, napping on the back porch in the summertime, leisurely humming while fixing dinner. I covet that contentedness.

So today, I’ve made the effort to be alone with my Father, to read His Word, and to listen as He speaks to me. The lesson I learned today was a bit about family love, a lot about compassion, and a reminder about the importance of occasional solitude. Here’s what His Holy Spirit taught me today:

I call him John the Baptist. I’m sure Jesus just called him John – His cousin, John. A cousin like none other, I assume, for while both babies were yet in their mother’s wombs, cousin John leaped noticeably when he heard the voice of Mary, his mother’s cousin, whom John’s mother Elizabeth referred to as “the mother of my Lord.” Mary responded to this honor by singing and glorifying the Lord God. Both baby boys heard their mothers’ voices magnifying God. Both baby boys were sent from God for specific purposes. John’s father was Zechariah. But Jesus’ father was Almighty God. A beautiful familial bond was set. The baby boys were born just months apart.

John the Baptist “prepared the way for the Lord,” baptizing people in the name of the Lord, whose “sandals I am not worthy to untie,” John said. Unlike those people John called to baptism,  Jesus went to John for baptism.

Shortly after Jesus was baptized, John was imprisoned for his message. Scholars believe it was about 15 months later that John was then beheaded. When the Lord Jesus heard this news, He was undoubtedly grief-stricken: “When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place.”

Have you ever done this? In grief or in sorrow or in exhaustion, you’ve withdrawn to a place of solitude. Jesus did. But the Bible tells us that when he had arrived at the place of solitude, he discovered that He wasn’t really alone at all. A large crowd of people had followed him, along the shore. They were desperate for Him. I understand. Do you? I’ve been desperate for Him in the past. And I am desperate for Him now, as I write.  a desperation I’ve had for over five years now.  I do understand. And so does Jesus. I know this because of His response to the people who interrupted His desired solitude.

The Bible tells us that when Jesus saw this large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick. Then he fed them by multiplying five loaves of bread and two fish. That’s my Jesus,!. That’s your Jesus, beloved! Compassionate. Loving. Healer. Bread of Life.

After He met the needs of the people, He again sought solitude, this time succeeding. He went up on a mountainside. To pray, the Bible says.

To pray. I let those two words “sink in” to my desperate, multitasking mind today.

I don’t know how long He was alone in prayer, but I assume it was through the evening and most of the night. We read that along toward morning, He went out, on the lake, walking on the water during a storm, to meet, comfort, and teach His disciples who were in a water-drenched boat, tossing to and fro, thinking they were going to die. That’s my Jesus! That’s your Jesus. Teacher. Comforter. Savior. The Great I Am! The Son of God!

And it didn’t end.  His ministry didn’t end when He was crucified. He’s still compassionate. He still comforts me. He’s still loving and healing. My teacher. My Savior. The Great I Am! The Son of God. The Bread of Life. That’s my  Jesus. That’s your Jesus.

He’s the one who becomes family.

He’s the one who is compassionate.

And He’s the one who teaches me that occasionally I need to get to a place of solitude ~ to pray.

Click here to contact me to speak to your group – or at your event. I would be honored!

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When you pray . . .

I was pleased that Kaylee was sound asleep. She had seen me cry enough this last year, each time, hugging me, “Are you missing Grandpa and Grandma Nutt?” she would ask.

“Yes, honey,” I’d answer, thankful to receive and return the hug, but forcing the smile. Her tenderness brought me back. Her smile always gave me focus. And strength.

But now, as I left her sleeping, I could feel the tears welling up. These tears –  tears from missing someone so desperately, knowing you’ll never see her again in your life time – don’t well up in the eyes. They build in a pressure beginning at both sides of the top of your neck, spreading behind your ears, instantly to the sides of the bridge of your nose, then flooding your eyes and overflowing down your face.

“Nana, will you sing to me?” Kaylee had asked, just a few minutes earlier.

It had become our nightly ritual. Kneeling beside her bed, rubbing her back or stroking her cheek, singing her to sleep. My repertoire usually consisted of “Go Tell Aunt Tabby,” “Bye-Baby Bunting,” and my made up song for Kaylee:

Sweet dreams, my Kaylee Joy; 

Sweet dreams to you.

Dream about butterflies,

Dream about baby dolls,

Dream about teddy bears too.

And each night, after several made up verses, my soft singing turned to quiet humming; and eventually diminished, as I left the room and walked down the hall. She was contented and asleep.

But this night, as I knelt by her bed and had sung several verses of Kaylee’s made up song, I quietly hummed two notes – the fifth and the third notes of a  chord – and those two tones immediately took me back  in  time.  . .1951 AD Newborn Kathy copy

. . .  to my mother’s arms.

She was holding me. I felt the warmth of her arms. I looked into her face. I could see my chubby little arm reaching up to her soft cheek. She was humming the song to me – the same two tones. I was tiny – perhaps a few months – perhaps a year. In all my memories, I’ve never felt so small. I remembered being a baby! It was so peaceful but oh so brief! Nearly as soon as the memory had come, it was gone! I was back in the present! Back in reality!

As I left Kaylee’s room that night, the other tones, the melody of the song, came to mind, and the words came a bit later. This time, I wasn’t taken back in time but I sat in the dimly lit living room, closed my eyes, and allowed myself to picture and hear my mother singing – the  little chorus I hadn’t heard in years:
Music Notes

When you pray, will you pray for me
For I need His love and His care
When you pray, will you pray for me
   Will you whisper my name in your prayer.

At the close of the day, when I kneel to pray
I will remember you
You need help every day, this is why I pray
And I will remember you.

When I pray, I will pray for you
For you need His love and His care
When I pray, I will pray for you
I will whisper your name in my prayer.

1954 B Christmas Margie and Kathy (6) copyTonight, Mama, when I pray, I will whisper your name in my prayer:

Thank you, Jesus, for my Mama, who held me and sang to me and prayed for me. And thank you, Jesus, for the wonderful memory .

Click here to listen to the Gaithers sing “When You Pray.” It’s not as sweet as my Mama’s voice, but you’ll get the idea! 🙂

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But God . . .

Sometimes you just can’t do anything other than to pray and wait.

Things just haven’t felt right. Praying doesn’t come as easy. Peace isn’t immediate, especially in the dark of night. 

It may be due to isolation. To deaths – more than usual – of friends and acquaintances. To serious illness of close ones.  It’s always concern for my Luke. It may be hearing, “I miss you, Nana,” from a thousand miles away. 

Whatever the reason, things just haven’t felt right. 

But God . . .

One author writes that to understand those two words is to understand the gospel. “But God” appears hundreds of times in the Bible. The phrase always represents God’s intervention, His salvation, His mercy, His grace.

But God . . .

My relationship with Him does not depend upon how I feel, how many prayers I say or how often. I needn’t carry guilt when “things just don’t seem right.” What matters to my Father is where I dwell. With Him. In His shelter – His secret place. It matters that I lean in to Him, in His shadow. That I praise in prayer and that I listen.

And sometimes, like today, the peace comes, the words come, the comfort is given, in the quiet breeze of His secret place.

Further reading: Psalm 91:1,2; 1 Corinthians 2: 9-11

I would love to speak to your group. Click here to contact me.

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While I was Sleeping

   It’s been over 25 years since the movie While You Were Sleeping came out. You might remember. An attractive, well-to-do young man falls in front of a subway train, and although rescued by a young woman, is nonetheless in a coma for quite some time. Meanwhile, his family mistakenly believes that the young woman, played by Sandra Bullock, is his fiancé, thus, for some time, they bestow upon her all the courtesies and endowments expected for their future daughter-in-law.  It’s a cute story of this mistaken identity, which occurs “while” the young man “is sleeping.” 

  Sometimes, for whatever reason, we’re “sleeping,” unaware of the turmoil occurring in our lives or in our families’ lives. Time goes by.  Circumstances worsen, and by the time we are fully aware, it appears we’ve lost control of the situation. This happened in my life. But it wasn’t “cute” like the movie. I recognized it, in fact, reading the gospels, in which Jesus told us exactly what happens if/when we are “sleeping.” I wrote about it in When Life Roars, Jesus Whispers. Here’s an excerpt:

   Even more life-changing, a spiritual battle was taking place. Ron and I were at war with the enemy, the thief. He was stealing and killing and destroying our family,[i] right in front of our eyes. The Word of God is truth, and it told me about the enemy:

“But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.”

“Where then did the weeds come from?”

“An enemy did this,” he replied. “The weeds are the sons of the evil one, and the enemy who sows them is the devil.”[ii]

     Our battle was against the enemy, the devil. I had the power to fight back. I was in the Lord’s army. So I put on the armor.

    Suddenly we were facing the enemy in our daughter’s defense. It had been Paul’s final instructions to the Ephesians:

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”[iii]

     The instructions were given to the church members in Ephesus, and to me. The passage continued, “Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist.”[iv]

I know the truth. Jesus is the truth.  His Word is truth.

     Earlier in his letter, Paul had told the Ephesians to “speak the truth in love.”[v] These instructions confirmed the very path I had been taking to reach my daughter, the path to break through the evil force that was surrounding her. It was a path of love.

     I had carried her within me, and I had loved her from that time. Her backsliding didn’t change my love for her. Her anger or harsh words didn’t change my love for her. I flooded her with unending love.

     The instructions Paul gave to the Ephesians and to me are the inspired Word of God. The passage continued speaking of righteousness and readiness and faith: “With the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”[vi]

I want this faith. I need this faith. And with this faith, I can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

     The final piece of armor? The sword! The sword of the Spirit! God’s Word! “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”[vii] I delved into it; I searched it; it became more alive to me than it had ever been. “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.”[viii]

My faith will increase through hearing the Word!

     I pictured myself with the armor – the belt, the breastplate, the footwear, the helmet – with a shield in one hand and my Bible in the other. Yes, I put on the armor, and I pictured the Lord God Almighty, the Most High leading me, surrounding me, filling me, protecting me, and delivering me and my beautiful daughter, Amber.

      Trusting Him didn’t come easy for me during that time. Fears came. Often. I had to keep reading the Word and speaking the Word. The Word, itself, became my prayer to Him: Lord, you have said that because you love me, you will rescue me; because you love Amber; you will rescue her. I will call upon you, and you will answer me. You will be with me in trouble; you will deliver me and will honor me! My, what a gracious and awesome God you are![ix]

And Jesus Whispered ~

Kathi, I made you and I know you. I give you understanding of my Word. Someday Amber will rejoice because you have put your hope in my Word.

Click here to order When Life Roars, Jesus Whispers and/or Kathi’s published Bible Study, Shh! Listen to His Whispers.

[i] John 10:10 NIV

[ii] From Matthew 13

[iii]  Ephesians 6:10-13 NIV

[iv]  Ephesians 6:14 NIV

[v]  Ephesians 4:15 NIV

[vi]  Ephesians 6:14b-16 NIV

[vii]  Ephesians 6:17 NIV

[viii]  Romans 10:17 NIV

[ix]  Psalm 91:14-15 NIV paraphrased

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Their Wedding Rings

Their wedding rings remain a symbol and a promise of their commitment to each other and of the fidelity they exhibited for 66 years.

I had observed those rings on their fingers, year after year. The fingers, once young and taut, became aged and thin, as did the gold bands around them. Both wedding bands and the diamond engagement ring are worn through from years of hard work, in the factory, the dirt, the water.  From years of play and of cooking and baking and of praying together. And why wouldn’t they be worn? Sixty-six years as symbols and promises  of commitment and fidelity.

Mom's bandsDaddy and Mama have been gone now for some years. And I miss them. So, on occasion, I hold those rings in the palm of my hand and visualize their aged hands, wishing I could hold those beautiful old hands in mine once again.  I occasionally slide the rings on my fingers, especially when I want to feel their presence. Having the rings near reminds me of how they prayed for me and my family.

They passed one spring, just one month apart. Early that fall, I slid the rings on my omega necklace chain, and wore them throughout a most difficult day, the day of our daughter, Amber’s, sentencing. The rings hung close to my heart, touching my skin. I sensed their presence with me in that courtroom, reminding me that their God was my God. – always faithful. On that taxing day, the rings, once a symbol and a promise in the marriage, became their symbol and promise of commitment and fidelity to us, the family resulting from the marriage. Our family continued to be one – in the Lord.

On the omegaOne morning, shortly thereafter, I placed the rings, along with my birthstone, on the necklace. and headed out the door for Mott’s Children’s Hospital at U of M in Ann Arbor, where our baby grandson, Luke, was to undergo open-heart surgery. Throughout the long day and the trying days ahead, I often touched the rings, fidgeting with them, remembering Daddy and Mama’s  faithful prayers for me and my family – prayers that are still held in a bowl, each prayer like incense going up before the Lord God (1). At times, I raised my hand to my breast and clutched the rings ever so snugly within my grasp for quite some time, picturing the Father holding my little Luke in His hand, never letting him go. As I did so, I prayed. And prayed. And prayed.

On the trying days of Baby Luke’s surgery and recovery, the rings symbolized even more. Suddenly, they were reminders of Daddy and Mama’s commitment and fidelity to the Lord Jesus, which is the heritage they have passed on to us, their children, and to our children, and to our children’s children.

That heritage, in turn, reveals the greatest promise of commitment and fidelity – that of the Lord Jesus to me, and to my children, and to their children . . . “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” He says (*2). And I have found that promise to be true.

Just days later, I again wore the rings on the necklace to await and then to celebrate the birth of our grandson, Jack, the newest life born into our family. Memories flooded my mind of Baby Jack’s Daddy, our firstborn, Matt. Matt was Daddy and Mom’s first grandson, Matt. On that day years ago, the rings were on their own fingers – now I wore them near my heart. The rings connected us from the past to the present and in some way, to the eternal future we will all have together. And as we all praised and thanked God for this new gift of life in our family, I wrapped my fingers around those rings and whispered, “Thank you, Daddy and Mama, for your example of commitment and fidelity – to each other – to us, your family – and to the Lord Jesus.”

(1) Revelation 5:8

(2) Hebrews 13:5b

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Your Faith Has Healed You!

Run boldly to Him, in faith, both conscious of and confident in His finished work.

I yearn to hear those words, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed of your suffering.”

Being raised with teaching that certainly God can heal but He doesn’t always heal,  I most often observed a limited faith – with “markers” on it, indicating that because God doesn’t always heal,  it just seemed simpler to not truly trust – not truly believe He desires to heal. It was unsteady ground for me – for many years.

After seeing our daughter and her husband redeemed and healed from their drug addiction, trusting in God’s healing became easier to me. I started to realize that God truly desires healing for us, His children. So when our precious grandson needed great healing, I delved into the Gospels, studying and recording every report of Jesus healing. The Gospels confirmed Isaiah 53. By His wounds we are healed. Our Jesus is the healer. He healed everyone who came to him, never turning anyone away. He healed those people He came upon who never even asked for healing.

What love!

What power!

What compassion our Savior has!

Now, I can pray in faith that it is God’s will for healing. If I don’t see that healing, I can trust in a Father whose ways are higher than mine and whose thoughts are higher than mine. I can trust Him. And so, I continue to pray for complete healing for my grandson. I will never cease to pray in that manner because I know I have a compassionate Father who desires the best for my grandson – and for me.

I ask you – Why do you put limits on God’s desire to heal?

I encourage you to run boldly to Him, in faith, both conscious of and confident in His finished work on Calvary. Listen for those words, “Son / Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed of your suffering.”

Read more at Mark 5:24-34, Romans 8:1, and Isaiah 53:4,5.

 

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Who do you say I am?

Jesus asked His disciples, “But who do you say I am?”

Peter replied, “You are the Messiah.”

Then, He called the crowd together with His disciples and said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.“

What do you say? Are you following Jesus? He’s calling you.

Further reading – Mark 15:39; Mark 8:29-34-38

Click here to learn more about Following Jesus

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A More Meaningful Lent

As I contemplate these 40 days of Lent, I’ve been listening to and observing others. Some people are fasting. Some share what they are “giving up” for Lent: chocolate; complaining; social media, etc. Some  don’t share – it’s personal – or perhaps it’s sacred. Others are not observing Lent, for whatever reason.

I ponder the entire concept, grasping at its deepest meaning, wanting to understand its fullness leading up to Good Friday and to Easter Sunday.

The United Methodist Church, in its short article, “What is Lent and Why Does It Last Forty Days?,” explains that “Lent is a time of repentance, fasting and preparation for the coming of Easter. It is a time of self-examination and reflection. In the early church, Lent was a time to prepare new converts for baptism. Today, Christians focus on their relationship with God, often choosing to give up something or to volunteer and give of themselves for others.”

Repentance. Fasting. Preparation.

John Eldredge writes that when going “without something . . .  is approached in the spirit of making extra room for God” in one’s life, it can be very meaningful (From Walking with God).

Making extra room for God . . .

very meaningful.

Each year I wonder what I should “give up” for Lent. This year, I know God is leading me to prepare, to contemplate, to make an effort toward solitude with Him. I’ll write, for in writing, I am searching the Word and I’m alone with Him. I’m content with His leading. This is going to be very meaningful Lent!

Has God led you to something specific to make Lent more meaningful?

Please be patient with me – I hope to post daily during these 40 days. Read as you desire. 

And, if you’re on Facebook, please “Like” and “follow”. You’ll see the link on this page or click here:  https://www.facebook.com/KathiWaligoraAuthorSpeake