Christian Author and Speaker
I drive to the jail, which I have passed many times in my life on my way elsewhere, to the grocery store or to school. Today, it is my destination.
They asked Jesus, “Are you the one . . . or should we expect someone else?”
Jesus replied, “Go back and report . . . what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor. Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.”
(Matthew 11:3,4)
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I ponder this scene in my mind. They come to Jesus to inquire, “Are you the one we’ve been expecting?” You see, they knew the Messiah was coming. They had been awaiting the fulfillment of the prophecy for a very long time. But they just weren’t sure if this Jesus was the one.
Jesus responds, “go back and report . . . what you hear and see.”
So I come to you now, in writing, to “report” some of the amazing things He has done for my family and for me, “the poor.”
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My husband, Ron, and I raised our children to know the love of God and His amazing grace. They knew what we wanted for them; they knew what God wanted for them; but, as adults, of course, their choices were their own.
Our youngest daughter and her husband “tried” to follow what “we wanted” for them. They attended church for awhile, possibly trying to please us, maybe thinking it was the right thing to do, but they did not seem to have a relationship with God. Soon, they wandered far from us, from the church, and seemingly from their God. But He was “their God” because, you see, God calls us. He ordained us before the world began, and He had ordained our Amber and her husband, Jesse.
Amber and Jesse went through years of turmoil. Lifestyle and life choices brought them heartache and sorrow. They were depressed. They lost their jobs. A house fire put them out of their home for 18 long months – with 3 children. When the home was finally restored, they lost it back to the bank. Then Jesse’s beautiful mother died, much too young. They were both very close to her, and the loss devastated them.
We observed their depression.
But we didn’t know of their addiction.
Our hearts ached for them. We were angry. We were sorrowful. We were sad. We pled. We cried. We begged. We suffered in our own way. A terrible way. A way that only a mother, a father, or a grandparent can know. A way that eats at your soul and steals your sleep, while it agonizes your mind and your body. An enemy is present and he preys upon your family. We try to change things. We try to make things better. But we can’t.
We share the only thing we can share with them – the good news. The good news that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God. That he died on the cross for them – in their place. That He rose again for them. That He loves them. That He has planned abundant life for them. That it is a free gift.
Then we pray. We cry and pray. We plead to God. We read in His Word that there is victory in Jesus. We read that He – our Lord God – is GREATER than the enemy. We read that the name of Jesus has power over the enemy. And we say that name aloud over and over and over and over and over and over . . .
And I place that powerful name in writing. I write letters to my daughter! God’s Word enters her home through those letters. God’s Word is placed in her hands through those letters. And God’s Word is in front of her eyes.
I claim that name – the name of Jesus – for my family! I rebuke the enemy. I tell him that he no longer has control over my family. My Lord Jesus died on the cross and rose again for my family, and our Almighty God has the victory in our family. His Word is filled with promises for my family. The enemy is no more!
. . . he answers [her] from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand. . . we trust in the name of the Lord our God. (Psalm 20:6)
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“Go back and report . . . what you hear and see,” Jesus says.
I hear a phone call in the middle of the night. I hear a message – a message I don’t want to hear. I see my daughter and her husband in shackles – a sight I don’t want to see.
I hear God’s comforting voice, speaking to me in my deepest pain. I see his angels surrounding me. I feel His tender arms holding me, lifting me up when I feel I can’t go on. I experience His amazing grace and His unfailing love that pulls me through the agonizing moments of each day.
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“Go back and report . . . what you hear and see,” Jesus says.
I hear and see a miracle. The dreaded message of that dark night changes to the good news of a the Light of the World – and the shackles of bondage and addiction are removed forever. My daughter and her husband are transformed by the power of the resurrected Christ. They give their lives to the Lord Jesus, the God of miracles.
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“Go back and report . . . what you hear and see,” Jesus says.
I hear my daughter and her husband speaking of God – their God – telling of His amazing, saving grace. I see their changed lives. I see light where there was darkness. I see a bright and promising future. I see a new love and a new life. I see a couple nurturing their wounded children, parenting them, loving them, and guiding them in the love of the Lord. I see Jesus.
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They asked Jesus, “Are you the one . . .?” (Matthew 11:3)
“Yes, Lord,” [I] tell him, “I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world.” (John 11:27)
Yes, my friend, Jesus is the one!
He is the Jesus of Miracles. He is the Jesus who heals the broken-hearted and mends broken families. Jesus has compassion for you. He can heal your broken heart and mend your broken family. Jesus died on the cross to save you. He can change your life. He can change your family’s lives. Call upon him in prayer today.
I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)
Click here to learn more about calling on Jesus.
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The date was set.
The courtroom was reserved.
The orchestration had already been assigned, and guess what? I hadn’t been chosen for the job.
I had wanted to do it; I had wanted to be able to arrange everything. To set the “stage” for the sentencing. Just the right people there. Exactly the right things to be said. I had it all planned. I thought. But the orchestrator position belonged to someone else – Almighty God.
So I sat back and trusted God–something I’ve been learning to do for quite some time. To trust Him to orchestrate the events.
He had begun the orchestration quite some time ago, before the creation of the world (1). He created her inmost being, her special talents, her tender soul. Then He knit her beautifully together–her delicate face, her porcelain complexion, her thin fingers– in my womb (2).
And while she was in my womb, I loved her. I planned how I would care for her, protect her, guide her, keep her. He had the same plans for her and more! Plans to prosper her and protect her, plans to give her hope and a future (3).
Time passed. I failed. She failed. We all failed Him (4).
I kept trying to orchestrate the events in her life. I applied, repeatedly, but over and over, I was never hired for the position.
I began to trust Him more. I learned to depend upon one thing — His Word. I trusted Him in it.
I prayed that Word with her, to her, for her.
I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give her the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that she would know him better. I prayed that the eyes of her heart would be enlightened in order that she might know the hope to which he has called her, the riches of his glorious inheritance, and his incomparably great power for us who believe . . . (5).
And I prayed the same for myself!
It seemed chaotic at first, like total discord, dissonance, cacophany! But then it happened! The Great Orchestrator–the one who had written the composition, had arranged all the parts, and had adapted that beautiful composition to our broken lives–that Great Orchestrator, in His great mercy, brought all the parts of the production together in perfect harmony.
She was redeemed. She became a new creation!
And so each time I think the production is in shambles and needs orchestrated, I remind myself to quit applying for the Orchestrator position. There’s someone more qualified, and He does such a perfect job.
No I won’t be receiving a Tony Award this year.
If you’d like to read my story about facing our daughter’s addiction and her subsequent arrest, you can order When Life Roars, Jesus Whispers by clicking here.
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End Notes:
1) Eph. 1:4
2) Psalm 139: 13
3) Jer. 29:11
4) Rom. 3:23
5) Eph. 1:17,18
He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart:
I put her to bed, as usual. Well, really, with a bit more tenderness, a bit more time–reading, laying, singing, snuggling. But she is still quite unsettled when I leave her bedside, and shortly after, I hear her behind me in the living room.
Quietly.
“Nana, can I lie in your bed?”
“Sure, honey.”
I follow her down the hall. She steps up onto the little white stepping stool and up up up on to the big, soft mattress. And then I see the tears.
“I miss my mommy.”
I wipe her tears.
I lie beside her, cherishing her soft hair rubbing my cheek, breathing in its sweet, innocent scent.
Later, after she is sound asleep, Papa carries Kaylee back to her own bed.
I awaken in the night. My heart aches. I miss her mommy too. And I know a bit of the pain my precious daughter is going through. She shared it with me months ago, shortly after the arrest. Now I know that tonight, she lies on her cot, in her cell, cold and lonely. My throat makes a foreign noise. I try to hold back the sob, knowing that when it starts, it doesn’t stop for a long time. I pray for her in a whisper – a whisper I know my Papa hears.
Months ago, after the arrest, on the 9th day, we brought her home–from that cell, from that cot–for one night before recovery began. She wanted her own bed– her old bed. The comfort of home.
Now I want the comfort of my Papa’s bed. I want that comfort for my daughter, and for her daughter, Kaylee. I want that comfort for all of us and for all others who are hurting.
I find it. I find it in the Word that is near me!
He gently tends me like a shepherd tends his flock. He gathers me in his arms and carries me close to his heart.
I might be unsettled for awhile, but I know that as I rest in his arms, close to His heart, I’ll find that comfort.
Further Reading: Isaiah 40:11; Psalm 91:1; Matthew 11:28; Romans 10:8
As you read the above post, you might connect. Some of you have or are presently raising your grandchildren. Some of you have or have had a son or daughter incarcerated. Some of you agonize, watching your own little ones unsettled and distressed, often unable to sleep. Take a verse or two and personalize it for yourself. Speak it over and over and over . . . His Word is powerful. And it’s near you.
If you’d like to read my story about facing our daughter’s addiction and her subsequent arrest, you can order When Life Roars, Jesus Whispers by clicking here.
Click here to “subscribe” to my blogs while you’re on this site.
And please follow me on my Facebook Writer’s Page:
https://www.facebook.com/KathiWaligoraAuthorSpeaker
Heartache is hearing her sentence . . .
Heartache is not being able to hug her . . .
Heartache is answering your grandchildren when they ask if Mom and Dad will be with them for Christmas: “No, honey.”
And Jesus Whispered ~Although the mountains around you are shaken, Kathi, and the hills are broken down, my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor will my promise of peace be removed. I am the Lord who has compassion for you and your precious grandchildren.
I had written my name inside the book, as I always do, along with the date: Kathleen Waligora, August 2005. I don’t know why I put the book away and never read it at that time. I’m certain it’s an awesome book – Jesus the One and Only – because the author, Beth Moore, is an awesome writer. But I hadn’t read beyond the first chapter, “Unexpected Company.”
So today, I began reading the book – once again.
In the first chapter, I read about Zechariah, the old priest whose turn had finally come to offer the incense at the daily sacrifice – a once in a lifetime opportunity. I was reminded that the time had been ordained by God. I was reminded that Zechariah must have prayed for a son while he was inside the holy place. I was reminded that God’s power is infinite and His grace and mercy have no end. Beth Moore writes that God wanted to meet “the desire of his [Zechariah’s] heart,” that “God was simply waiting for the perfect time.”
It was then that I read on – to the next page – and I saw my handwriting from 2005 (I almost always annotate my reading!) Amber & Jesse, I had written those eleven years ago.
Amber & Jesse.
Instantly I knew where my heart was eleven years ago: It was broken. It was wounded. It was aching. My underlining of portions of the passage further revealed the condition of my heart at that time and the hope I had – in Jesus, the One and Only:
Do you have a long-standing prayer concern? . . . don’t grow weary mechanical. Like Zechariah and Elizabeth, continue to walk faithfully with God even though you are disappointed. Walking with God in the day-in/day-out course of life swells your assurance that God is faithful and enjoyable even when a request goes unmet . . . Zechariah waited a long time for God’s answer, but when it came, it exceeded everything the priest could have thought or asked.
I remembered my “long-standing prayer” of 2005 for my daughter Amber and her husband, Jesse – a prayer that had already gone on for many years. Now, looking back, I realized that my “long-standing prayer” continued yet another seven years – until 2012 before it was answered, but like Zechariah’s answer to prayer, when my answer came, “it exceeded everything [I] could have thought or asked.”
I had asked for bits of grace and mercy. I received abundance.
So now, as I continue reading Jesus the One and Only, I will again annotate. I will again note specific prayer requests and passages of promise from God’s Word. And as I do, my faith will be strengthened in remembering that our God’s power is infinite, that He waits for the perfect time. I will find comfort in Jesus, the One and Only.
Your children I will save!
He tells me to pray. And so I continue to pray.
He saves!
He saves my baby when he is sick;
He saves my child from danger;
He saves my child, lost in his sin;
He saves the ill, the weak, the down-trodden.
Pray the Word for your children: I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. Ephesians 1: 17-19
Further reading: Psalm 24:6, 25:13, 119:130; Proverbs 14:26; Deuteronomy 28:4; Isaiah 54:13, 17b, John 14:11-14
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