I awoke this morning to an empty house – very empty! And very quiet!
No little girl stood beside my bed, looking at me and asking the usual Saturday questions: “Where’s Papa? At work? Can we get up, Nana? I’m not sleepy any more.”
I made only one bed this morning – my own. Jacob’s, Ben’s, and Kaylee’s had not been slept in.
I stepped into a clean kitchen and watched the CBS Morning Show instead of Saturday morning cartoons.
I leisurely drank coffee and fixed my own breakfast instead of Kaylee’s.
I rushed to the laundry room to start the first of many loads today, but I found only a few odd socks. I won’t be washing any laundry today.
Then I wrote my grocery list and found it to be very short.
I feel very strange and terribly lonely. The house is not the same.
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I’m remembering the last 13 months when the house was filled with dolls and Legos, backpacks and half-eaten granola bars. I rescued socks from between the sheets and I sorted outfits for each day of the week. The fridge held large jugs of Powerade and organic 2% milk; the pantry was packed with Honey Nut Cheerios and Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips; and the freezer was stocked with Cookie Dough Ice Cream.
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Laundry room hooks held fleece jackets and hoodies; its shelves were stacked with boots, shoes, and baseball cleats; and its hampers overflowed with dirty jeans and white t-shirts. Crumbs covered the floors under the kitchen stools; Happy Meal trinkets bounced from one room to another; and blobs of blue toothpaste splattered the bathroom counter.
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This Nana took on the traits of Mommy. (It’s an awesome combination!) And Papa added the role of Daddy to his character. (It’s a huge responsibility!)
The vehicles’ odometers soared as “The Road Less Traveled” became “The Road More Traveled” – back and forth between home and schools 24 miles away – three or four times a day.
Evenings were filled with baseball games, homework and baths, snuggling and lullabies. Weekends meant wrestling meets, visiting Mommy and Daddy, and going to church.
Nana and Papa forgot that they once went out to dinner, sat quietly and talked, and watched old movies on television. (They were too tired to remember such times.)
And yesterday, I sorted some last-minute thoughts and turned them into reminders:
“Kaylee, here are your little pink wash cloths. I’m packing them for you to take.”
“Benny, don’t forget to brush your teeth – morning and night.”
“Jacob, your baseball uniform is washed and ready for your first game next week.”
And last night, they took that long-awaited step from our house to their own house with mommy.
So today, as I sit alone, I’m remembering the last 13 months, when this house has been a refuge and a haven of unconditional love to three adorable grandchildren, and I’m feeling strange and lonely in this empty, quiet house – a house that is not the same.
But this Nana has no regrets. Only precious memories.
2 Replies to “This Nana has no regrets. Only precious memories.”
What a blessing you and Ron have been to this entire family and I know they are tremendously grateful. It was a hard time for you all but you have so many wonderful memories and outcomes having gone through it. And we all know they all could not have been loved or cared for more.
Glad to read the kids are home.. you have been a blessing in their lives. I am sure they have wonderful memories of their time with you and Ron as well as you both do. 🙂
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