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Hope and a future! 2013 – I will bring you back!

It’s mine.

It’s yours.

Hope and a future in 2013.

God says He will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5b)

2012 was the most difficult year of my life. But He never left me through it all nor did He ever forsake me. The pain was nearly unbearable at times, but His grace was even greater.

In February, our youngest daughter and her husband were arrested. The four days that followed were a blur. So devastating that I don’t remember all the details. Ron and I held each other and dropped to our knees, crying out to God for help. He helped us. I learned to pray unlike I had ever known before. The pleas and praises came from a depth within me that I hadn’t known existed. I prayed without ceasing – quietly, silently, or aloud while walking through the grocery store! Communion with my Lord unintentionally encompassed my every moment during those days. Later, communion with my Lord became intentional.

In March, my daddy died. Yes, he was old. Yes, he had dementia. Yes, it was a blessing. But he was my daddy, and the pain was real and continues to rouse from time to time. I miss snuggling his neck and face. I miss hearing him say, “I love you. Be careful now, honey.”

In April, my mama died. If you’ve lost both parents, you realize how final the passing of the last one is. I’m 10 years old again, and I’m an orphan. The last months, weeks, and days were terrible – she suffered so. Through it all, God was faithful. His grace was so real. But the night after her funeral, after all the family was gone, including the grandchildren who had been my comfort — after the beautiful words were spoken and the songs were sung, I suddenly couldn’t find that grace. I honestly thought I couldn’t go on. I’ve never felt so empty in my entire life. I had no peace. I had no joy. But I remembered that there was a love there that I could feel, if I could just reach it – if I could just find it. So I spoke the only words I could: “I love you, Lord. I love you, Lord.” Over and over I said those words. The peace came. It filled me. The grief remained, but His peace surpassed the grief. I found Him to be faithful in the midst of my greatest grief.

Court dates, pleas, recovery programs, caregiving, taking classes, teaching courses, 50-mile round trips to and from school, doctor and dental appointments, baths and bedtimes, overseeing homework, laundry, cooking, and finally, the sentencing, filled my 2012 days and drained my natural energy, but the Lord was my strength. When I felt I couldn’t go on, I remembered those dear people who were praying for me – I remembered them by name and thanked God for them and prayed for them, in return. I trusted that God would give me the strength He promised, and I told myself that if I did not believe it, it would be an insult to Him, so I believed in that strength.

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” (Psalm 94:19)

~~   ~~   ~~   ~~

Because of the Lord’s work, my prayers have been answered. My daughter and her husband embraced the Savior. Their lives are totally transformed. They now walk with and honor the Lord with their lives. I thank God for answered prayer.

I also thank God for the heritage left me by my daddy and mama. I cherish every memory and envision them together in their “big yellow house” in heaven.

~~   ~~   ~~   ~~

As the year 2012 came to an end, our tenth grandchild was born – Luke Ryan Greene, our Bringer of Light. God blessed us with him. He was born with heart defects. We trust God for his complete healing. We began to see miracles. His platelets had lowered to 60,000 – then to 54,000. The levels were becoming dangerous. The next day, his platelets were over 100,000! He required oxygen for days. Then suddenly, his oxygen levels became normal, and the oxygen was removed. He went home! He relishes in the environment of his home, with the commotion of his active brother and sisters. He flourishes in the nourishment of his mother’s milk. He gains weight! 1 lb. 3 oz within 2 1/2 weeks! The next cardiologist visit and tests revealed that two defects were healed! We trust and await the continued healing of his heart, for we know that he is fearfully and wonderfully made and God loves little Luke.

This is the first of the miracles I am looking for in 2013 – the complete healing of our precious little Luke!

“Nothing is impossible with God.” Luke 1:37

Next, I am looking for the miracle of the birth of our eleventh grandchild – healthy little baby boy Waligora, to be born in March!

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you . . .” Jeremiah 1:5

And, in 2013, we will rejoice when our dear three grandchildren who now live with us are reunited with their parents!

 “All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children’s peace.” Isaiah 54:13

What does the Lord have planned in 2013?

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. . . I will be found by you . . . I will bring you back . . ” (Jeremiah 29:11-14a)

The Lord said “Call to me, and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3)

We have called!

He will show us!

He will bring us back in 2013!

If you have not yet called on the Lord Jesus Christ, accept Him as your Savior! “Faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” Read about it in the Word. See Romans 10:8-13. the Bible says that if you confess with your mouth (speak it) that Jesus is the Lord and you believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Call, email, or message me. I’d love to hear from you. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life! Plans for hope and a future! A bright future!

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You did for me.

The courtroom was full of family and friends–our supporters.
Glenna spoke encouragement.
Jen spoke comfort.
Larry supported my arm as I walked to the car.
Someone prayed.

~~~

Coffee and a long talk with best friends.

Bible study ladies caring, holding, praying.

~~~

We were the least. We were broken.

We were thirsty.

~~~

You received us. You gave us drink.

You were His hands–His feet.

Someone continues to pray.

“I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Jesus. (Matthew 25:40)

And you did for us.

Further Reading: Matthew 10:40-42

More to come on what I must now do.

(Be sure to read my previous post, “God Is Using You.”)

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We have this treasure . . .

And  God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts . . .

2 Corinthians 4: 6

Friends, Tuesday morning, after a heartbreaking Monday, after telling our grandchildren that Mommy and Daddy were in jail, and after a miserable night, I opened my Bible to Joshua 5:14b, to ask the Lord the question I have been trying to remember to ask  him every day, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” (Me!) Was I expecting something new? Something dramatic? Something unusual? As I flipped through the pages of my Bible, my eyes fell upon highlighted passages, post-it notes, and ink writings, smeared by time and wear. I read His promises–the same promises I’d been given in His Word before Monday’s sentencing–were true for me on Tuesday. The same God who loved me (and Ron and Amber and Jesse and . . .) before Monday’s sentencing loved me on Tuesday. And loves me today. And will love me tomorrow . . . and . . .

Do you see?

He doesn’t change.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. Hebrews 13:8

Ron and I are heartbroken. But He is here with us.

Amber is hurting and lonely. But he is there with her.

Jesse is humiliated and broken. But he is there with him.

He will never leave us or forsake us. Hebrews 13:5

You see, we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God . . . We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Why? Because we always carry around . . . Jesus!

 2 Corintians 4: 7-9

So, grab your jars of clay and go fill them with His treasures.

More to come . . .

 

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God Is Using You

“I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

If you’ve followed my postings, you know that this is a trying time for me. Waiting. Wondering. Praying. Fearing. Trusting. Crying. Praising. I wait for Monday. And as I wait, God uses you to comfort and wait with me. To pray, to fear, to trust, to cry, and to praise with me. God is using you.

It started with a facebook message, a “Like,” an I’m praying for you. Then a phone call. A message from Pastor. A blog comment and an offer of prayer. An email from a student–I’m praying that God will strengthen you. It continues with a note from a sweet cousin—Praying for Monday—and a hand-painted poppy from a dear friend. It ends with –well, it doesn’t end . . .

It doesn’t end because God says that His purpose will stand. He summons a bird, or a man (or a woman!) to fulfill his purpose. And He has summoned you for His purpose of comforting me. And you have answered Him.

It’s all a part of His plan – for you – for me– for Monday.

And aren’t you glad that He makes the plans?

“I am God,” He says. “And there is no other; I make known the end from the beginning . . . I say: My purpose will stand . . . I summon a bird . . . from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that will I bring about; what I have planned, that will I do. Listen to me, you stubborn-hearted, you who are far from righteousness. I am bringing my righteousness near, it is not far away; and my salvation will not be delayed. I will grant salvation to Zion, my splendor to Israel” (Isaiah 46: 9-13)

Salvation and His splendor to Kathi and to her facebook friend. To her Pastor and to her sweet cousin. And to her blog follower and to . . . .

God is using you. And because He is, peace fills me now. If only for today, it is refreshing.

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What’s greater?

“He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes” (Psalm 112:7,8).

What’s greater – my fears or God’s promises?
My fears or His Word?
My fears or my God?

Six days until the sentencing. My daughter. My son in law. My family.

I face my fears. I bring them to the light. The Word tells me to trust in the Lord, to keep my heart steadfast, immovable, firm in belief. The Word tells me to keep my heart secure, safe from the enemy. And so I list my fears. And I list His promises–to see which is greater. I know the answer before my pen touches the paper. My fears are many, but they don’t compare to His many promises!

“My foes are many; they rise against me, but I will hold my ground!

I will not fear the war; I will not fear the storm. My help is on the way; my help is on the way.

Oh, my God; He will not delay- my refuge and strength always.

I will not fear; His promise is true; my God will come through – always – always.

Trouble surrounds me – chaos abounding – my soul will rest in you.

I will not fear the war; I will not fear the storm. My help is on the way; my help is on the way.

I lift my eyes up; my help comes from the Lord.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb4VvNq8WEM
(Kristian Stanfill – “Always” – From Psalm 121, Psalm 46, and other passages from God’s Holy Word!)

Now I ask again,
What’s greater – my fears or God’s promises?
My fears or His Word?
My fears or my God?

The answer is, of course, found in the Word. “My dear child, you are from God. Your fears are not from God. You have overcome your fears because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” (I John 4:4)

Six days until the sentencing. My daughter. My son in law. My family.

And so, I will have no fear of bad news; my heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. My heart is secure, I will have no fear; in the end I will look in triumph on his foes.

Why? Because my God is greater.

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Grief to Beauty

“His glory covered the heavens and his praise filled the earth, His splendor was like the sunrise; rays flashed from his hand, where his power was hidden.” (Habakkuk 3:3b,4)

I went to the grave this morning to replace the once pink geraniums and withered vines with a mum plant, bursting with soft purple blossoms, one I knew Mama would have loved.
I hadn’t been to the grave in weeks, an unusual break of custom for me, but after months of faithful visits, tending and watering the summer blooms, often crying, and always reminiscing, a persistent grief had encompassed me, a grief I had been trying to shake by avoiding the tradition. So on this crisp autumn morning, I faced grief in order to bring beauty.

The little country cemetery was quiet. Sunshine flooded the diamonded dew.

As I stopped the car, close to the grave site, two old wild turkeys left low branches of a century-old maple at the edge of the cemetery and flew a short distance to the ground, their heavy bodies lighting not far from Mom and Dad’s grave.

I wondered how many times Mom and Dad had seen these very birds from the kitchen window of their yellow house – across the road from this cemetery – in their daily rituals of watching families of turkeys roam the countryside. I wondered if these two turkeys had followed Mom and Dad to their final resting place, perhaps waiting their own time to pass, as well. They fled when I lifted the latch gate, took the plant, and walked the few, somber steps to the stone.

Together Forever, I read.

“Mama, Daddy,” I cried, as I had so many times before.

As I grieved, I stepped behind the stone and discovered that since my last visit,the bronze plaque had been set in place, the honor bestowed Daddy by the Veterans Administration. I pulled out my cell phone and took a picture of it to send to my sister, but it wasn’t until after I later opened the electronic picture that I saw the rays of sun flooding over the tombstone and into my lens.

I considered the “splendor” of the morning and the sun rays that “flash from his hand.” I was reminded of his “power”– the power that lifted the very souls from Daddy and Mama’s aged bodies; the power that will one day lift those broken bodies out of that grave and transform them into perfect models of their once young, vibrant beings; the power that will bring us all together again; “His divine power” that “has given us everything . . . and has given us his very great and precious promises . . .” (1 Peter 1:4). . .

and the power that consoles my grief in order to bring beauty.
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It’s My Party, and I’ll Cry If I Want To . . .

I had a party today. Sorry I didn’t invite you, but I was all caught up in myself. This kind of party is much more fun when I’m all alone.

It started this way: Surely God is good to me. . . but  I’ve stumbled and lost my footing. All day long I’m plagued with trials; seems there’s a new problem every morning. If only I had said something different – if only I could explain –  if only he truly loved me – if only she understood – if only things were different . . . if only . . . if only . . .

Wow! The party was really getting going at this point! (Maybe you should have been there!)  And then when I tried to understand all that was going on, it suddenly seemed very oppressive to me. (You know how that oppression works!) By this time, the enemy was knocking loudly at my door. He really wanted to come to my party!

Like I said, I wanted to be alone at my party. But I did recognize that malevolent knock, so when I recognized it as the oppressor, I left the room where he was knocking, and I entered the sanctuary of God.

It’s a quiet place – so very comfortable – such a place of refuge!

God took hold of my right hand; He became my strength;

and I realized that I desired nothing more than to be with Him.

(It was good for me to be near God.)

He said,

“You can have great peace because you love my law, and nothing can make you stumble.”

And I said,

 “I wait for your recovery, O Lord, and I follow your commands. I obey your statues, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statues, for all my ways are known to you.”

(That last part made me I realize that He had known about my party all along!)

Now that I look back on it, it really wasn’t much of a party at all until I entered His shelter. That’s when the true celebration started. 

Next time I’ll try to have a different kind of party, and I will invite you!

(Please read about this party in Psalm 73 and Psalm 119:165-168)

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First day of school!

For those of you who have just met me, I’ll give you a bit of background – Three of our beautiful grandchildren are living with us while their mom and dad are in a marvelous recovery/rehabilitation/restoration program. All is well but all is not truly well until this whole ordeal is over  (especially the sentencing.)

Today was the first day of school. New school for the kids. Mom and Dad aren’t taking them this morning – I am, so I’m feeling a bit sad about it – for them – for Mom and Dad – for me.

Jacob’s doing well – I think! Will his ear hurt at school? Does he have a bad infection? Or is it clearing up? Should I make a Dr. appointment after school? Will he lose his only key for his locker padlock?

Benny wanted me to walk him in the building – up to his classroom – but he didn’t want his sister tagging along, so he opted out and decided to make the trek himself – the long trek to a new classroom in a different school, without his friends. All the other kids know how to go through the lunch line – which foods are part of the school lunch – which foods are ‘a la carte.
Five minutes before we left the house this morning, he showed me the papers the teacher gave him at open house last week – papers I hadn’t seen because I was busy, filling out papers! A reading survey to fill out. Directions for the first report – What I Did During My Summer Vacation. Oh, well, I assured him the teacher will gladly receive those assignments tomorrow instead. He made the trek alone – big boy that he now is – to the 5th grade.

Slowly (very slowly) I proceed down the street to the elementary where countless cars are creeping along, trying to find parking spaces – walking their children into the building. And so we find a parking space, and I walk Kaylee toward her classroom. “Oh-oh. We forgot your lunch.” A panic-stricken look envelops her face until I add, “I’ll bring it back before 11:00. No problem, Honey.” We enter her brightly decorated classroom. She loves her new teacher – Mrs. Losey – but she looks down, almost ready to cry. I whisper, “Can I hug you before I leave, or don’t you want me to?” She shakes her head, No. So I take my hand away from her sweet little shoulder and say goodbye.

I step out of the room and peek back, knowing she will be fine in the care of Mrs. Losey, hoping she won’t cry – like I am.

And it could have been different this morning. Mommy and Daddy could have taken their children to school on this first day. (They are nearby – in town for a probate court conference this morning.) But DHS has their rules – their often ridiculous rules. (How many times I’ve questioned them – is this really in the best interest of the children?????)

I pray. I remember that I have already committed all these things to the Lord. I commit them again. I remember that I trusted Him in it all. I trust Him now.  I remember that He spreads His protection over them (my children) – that He blesses the righteous – and that He surrounds us with His favor as a shield. (Psalm 5:11-12)

Headed back to the elementary with the lunch now.

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Free yourself from the chains, O captive Daughter!

March 28, 2012
Sun is coming out this morning. I’ve had a rough night – dreading taking Benny to the dentist. I’ve pleaded – then remembered that I don’t Have to plead! I’ve asked God to heal Benny – to keep him from pain through this ordeal (having two teeth extracted and one filling). Why do I struggle so with trusting God in it? God has reminded me that He loves Benny more than I do – that He loves Jacob more than I do – that He loves Kaylee more than I do – that He doesn’t want them to hurt – that by Jesus’ stripes and wounds, Benny is healed from his hurting already.
I’ve gone to The Wordthis morning, reviewing Isaiah 52, 53, and 54 from my devotions a day or so ago. I am immediately exhorted to “Free myself from the chains on my neck, O captive Daughter of Zion.” And this is what I pray for and trust in. “How beautiful on the mountains are my feet; My God reigns!!; I lift up my voice and shout for joy . . . the Lord comforts me . . . all the earth will see His salvation (He saves me); I must be pure – for the LORD will go before me, the God of Israel will be my rear guard.” Today, He will go before me and prepare the office, the dentist, the assistant, the meds, the procedure – He will be Benny’s and my rear guard. I will trust Him.
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A grace welcomed

Saturday, April 7
The sun was shining through the trees this morning. I said to Ron, “Honey, look at the beautiful sunrise. ‘Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright.'” My heart was breaking, but I remembered God’s promises. We woke our children and dressed to go to Mama’s funeral. Comforting arms surrounded me from the moment I walked in the door of the funeral home and have surrounded me all day. Friends and family lavished their love on me and my family. It became the comfort of Christ to me. I saw and felt the hands of Christ all day as people ministered to us.
My heart breaks inside but God’s grace is sufficient for today, and I welcome that grace with open arms and heart. Our grandchildren (and grand niece) bounced around all day, laughing, dancing, and playing together. It was a constant reminder of Mom “living on” in our family through her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. When Ron and I drove in the funeral procession from Quincy to the cemetery, following the white hearse, which carried my Mama with flowers surrounding her, our back seats were filled with little grandchildren while “Curious George” played on the DVD!!! This had not been planned, but God used it to bring joy to my heart and to remind me that my life will go on and Mom’s life will go on within our family!
Thank you, friends, for your love, concern, and comfort.